This happens to everyone. There’s no escaping, and the number of times you have to undergo this situation, well, it’s innumerable.
Struggling with how to forgive someone is not just about releasing another person from guilt; it is also about allowing God’s peace to reign within.
Understanding Forgiveness Through God’s Eyes: The Christian Way
The words echo in our hearts and minds, like the constant ticking of the clock, “You need to forgive”.
You know it’s the right thing, the Christian thing to do.
But when the wound is fresh, and the pain deep, the command can feel difficult, rather impossible to live.
Your protest is, “You don’t know what they did,” or “They don’t deserve it.”
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
Like the verse above on forgiveness from the Holy Bible, for us as Christians, it is not about pretending or accepting that we aren’t hurt, nor is it about excusing the wrong or instantly restoring trust.
It is, in fact, a profound spiritual process that leads to our very own freedom.
Psychologically, when we struggle with how to forgive someone, we are often carrying a heavy burden of bitterness, reliving the hurt, and feeling stuck in grief and annoyance.
Forgiveness can be challenging and indeed a weighty command to live and practice as a Christian.
Strangely, just as much as it is a deep human struggle, it is also a profound divine calling.
The natural human response to the wounding of the heart would be to protect, withdraw, or even retaliate. Yet Scriptures call believers to a higher way, the way of the Lord, and the way of grace.
Now this isn’t about mustering up the strength and will to forgive on your own; it’s about tapping into His, thus Jesus’ way.
Thus, find your soul going free from the chains of bitterness and allowing Jesus’ peace to reign within.
To be a good Christian is to be like Christ.
Being like Christ is the first step to resolving how to forgive someone.
Forgiveness begins with understanding how God forgives.
The core message of the Gospel rests on Divine forgiveness.
Humanity, broken and sinful, was reconciled to God through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
The death of Jesus on the Cross was the ultimate act of mercy, offering pardon and forgiveness to those (thus us) who did not deserve it.
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
(Luke 23:34)
The heart of Jesus on the cross, with the above words of forgiveness, radiates compassion in the face of cruelty.
To forgive someone is to reflect or imitate the character of Jesus.
It is not about excusing the wrongdoing or pretending you aren’t hurt; rather, it is about choosing to place the offender into God’s hands, trusting that all judgment and healing is of God’s.
Forgiveness is not your weakness; it is your spiritual strength.
Your “how to forgive someone” becomes easy as you are now courageous to let go of resentment and allow love to triumph over hate.
In the story from the Bible (Genesis Chapter 37 — Chapter 50)
Joseph’s brothers betrayed him and sold him into slavery, yet years later, when they came to Egypt in need, Joseph forgave them.
He said, “Do not be distressed…for God sent me before you to preserve life” (Genesis 45:5). His choice to forgive shows how God can turn hurt into healing and calls us to extend grace to others.
Also…
We need to forgive, as forgiveness is a virtue that originated from God, as mentioned in the Old Testament and later in the New Testament, and ultimately from our Lord Jesus at the cross.
In the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (Matthew 18:21-35), a king forgives a servant an unimaginable debt, in millions. That same servant then refuses to forgive a fellow servant a tiny debt of a few coins.
Jesus ends the parable with a stark warning:
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
How to Forgive Someone Through God’s Healing Grace
How to forgive someone becomes easy when you bring your raw hurts and honest emotions before God.
Jesus has lived it all. He was falsely accused, insulted, and even ignored. All the hurtful resentments, He had faced them all first-hand.
So Jesus can hear it all, as He has experienced it all. He will easily relate to your pain and suffering.
Your wounds need to be treated, lest they become an infection for your soul.
Un-forgiveness is a silent burden that corrodes the peace of your soul.
It will manifest as anger, anxiety, or even a physical illness.
Your anger is a poison that you drink and expect the other person to suffer.
The longer the bitterness lives inside you, the more it replaces your own joy, peace, and spiritual vitality.
Place them all before God, in your moments of prayer.
Find your place of blissful presence with God. Tell Him exactly how you feel, your hurts, insults, and how to forgive someone.
Present your offence before Him; your healing requires that you acknowledge your wounds of unforgiveness and resentment.
Now you are bringing the darkness into the light of God’s presence; you take the first step towards your own healing.
Talk to Jesus honestly.
Scriptures remind us that true forgiveness flows not from our own strength, but from God’s healing grace working in our hearts.
When we bring all our hurts and pain before Jesus, He softens what bitterness has tried to harden and thus destroy.
A prayer of how to forgive someone begins with surrendering before God your desire for revenge or justification of the one who has hurt you.
Ask the Holy Spirit to replace resentment with compassion, even if your emotions have not yet reached there. You pray, even if your mind speaks otherwise.
Choose by faith to release your offender into God’s hands.
As a Christian, forgiveness is a requisite, not a choice.
Waiting until your anger recedes or your emotions align may delay healing indefinitely, like you’ve left your wound untreated.
How to Forgive in Modern Times: Finding Peace in a Hurting World
In today’s fast-paced, digital world, offences can spread easily and deeply.
Social media arguments, workplace conflicts, and family misunderstandings can escalate into lasting disputes and divisions.
Modern life and beliefs encourage self-protection and pride; ‘give it back as you get’ is the mantra.
However, for us Christians, the Gospel calls believers to humility, grace, and forgiveness.
Modern age conflicts can be provoked by political disagreements, cultural tensions, and our very modern online criticism.
Our response is to mirror not the hostility of the world, but the reflection of Christ that is love and peace.
So, how to forgive someone becomes a quest for us because of our faith as Christians, and not getting inclined to the modern ways that glorify revenge.
Forgiveness restores marriages, just as a sorry or discussing a misunderstanding or a conflict can work as a saviour to have it read as “and they lived happily ever after”.
In families, forgiveness bridges the gaps between generations and heals old wounds.
In friendships, it rebuilds trust, hope and deepens relationships.
The church, as the body of Christ, thrives when forgiveness flows freely among the believers. The Church is a living witness of the Gospel’s power and teachings.
Forgiveness as a virtue is not limited to personal; it is the Gospel that reflects the heart of Christ to a hurting world.
Overcoming Barriers to Forgiveness.
How to forgive someone can be a struggle if we misunderstand what forgiveness means.
Some believe it minimises the offence or erases justice.
Others feel forgiving can make them vulnerable and even worse than before.
For a Christian, forgiveness is not ignoring justice; it is about entrusting the hurting person to God.
The act of wrongdoing will not be erased, but it should not trouble us; rather, be less perturbed.
Not be tied up, but be free or at least unbothered.
Pride can be a barrier to forgiving. Pride insists on being right, always.
Being wise on the thought that personal need and pride are still much of an ant when compared to the grace and blessings of Christ we receive, when we forgive others.
Forgiveness flows naturally from a heart that knows it has been forgiven much. (By God)
One Life, One Role Model
No one modelled forgiveness more perfectly than Jesus.
Betrayed by a friend.
Denied by His followers.
Crucified by those He came to save.
He still chose mercy. His forgiveness was not conditional but was rooted in love.
How to forgive someone becomes easy when we just look at the cross and remember that they, too, were forgiven and saved at great cost, the sacrifice of God’s only begotten son in Jesus.
Cultivating a Forgiving Heart Daily
Forgiveness is not a one-time act but a way of life.
It means keep your heart warm with forgiveness always, refusing to let bitterness take root.
This would mean being quick to apologise and quick to extend mercy.
Choosing peace, not pride.
Choosing love, not resentment.
Forgiveness begins with the self; thus, it involves self-forgiveness.
Many carry the guilt of past mistakes, unable to accept God’s grace for themselves. We believe that the mercy that was extended to others was also received by us personally.
When we believe that we were forgiven, we will be empowered to forgive others more freely.
Final Words for Freedom.
For us as Christians, forgiveness is both a command and a gift.
It is a gift to us; it is the pathway to peace, healing, and spiritual maturity.
Learning to forgive someone is not about forgetting the hurts but about releasing their hold on our hearts and minds.
When forgiving, trust God to bring justice, healing, and restoration in His time.
The Count is three to practice forgiveness daily.
Pray Honestly. Tell God about the hurt, it’s not complaining, it’s sharing, like with a friend, a parent.
Seek His aid and strength to forgive.
Speak Release. Say aloud, “I forgive [name] and release them to God.
Aloud for your heart and mind, telling them, I disagree with you, thus I forgive…
Act in Love. Action speaks louder than words.
Reconcile or pray for the person who caused you pain.
Forgiveness is not a feeling to wait for; it is a way of living every day.
How to forgive others shouldn’t be your quest, but forgiving others should be your only act.
Forgive others and find the light of Christ shine brighter in the lives of people in a world desperate for love and peace.
