How to Forgive Someone: The Christian Guide to Healing
This happens to everyone. There’s no escaping, and the number of times you have to undergo this situation, well, it’s innumerable. Struggling with how to forgive someone is not just about releasing another person from guilt; it is also about allowing God’s peace to reign within. How to Forgive Someone Understanding Forgiveness Through God’s Eyes: The Christian Way The words echo in our hearts and minds, like the constant ticking of the clock, “You need to forgive”. You know it’s the right thing, the Christian thing to do. But when the wound is fresh, and the pain deep, the command can feel difficult, rather impossible to live. Your protest is, “You don’t know what they did,” or “They don’t deserve it.” “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32) Like the verse above on forgiveness from the Holy Bible, for us as Christians, it is not about pretending or accepting that we aren’t hurt, nor is it about excusing the wrong or instantly restoring trust. It is, in fact, a profound spiritual process that leads to our very own freedom. Psychologically, when we struggle with how to forgive someone, we are often carrying a heavy burden of bitterness, reliving the hurt, and feeling stuck in grief and annoyance. Forgiveness can be challenging and indeed a weighty command to live and practice as a Christian. Strangely, just as much as it is a deep human struggle, it is also a profound divine calling. The natural human response to the wounding of the heart would be to protect, withdraw, or even retaliate. Yet Scriptures call believers to a higher way, the way of the Lord, and the way of grace. Now this isn’t about mustering up the strength and will to forgive on your own; it’s about tapping into His, thus Jesus’ way. Thus, find your soul going free from the chains of bitterness and allowing Jesus’ peace to reign within. To be a good Christian is to be like Christ. Being like Christ is the first step to resolving how to forgive someone. Forgiveness begins with understanding how God forgives. The core message of the Gospel rests on Divine forgiveness. Humanity, broken and sinful, was reconciled to God through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. The death of Jesus on the Cross was the ultimate act of mercy, offering pardon and forgiveness to those (thus us) who did not deserve it. “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34) The heart of Jesus on the cross, with the above words of forgiveness, radiates compassion in the face of cruelty. To forgive someone is to reflect or imitate the character of Jesus. It is not about excusing the wrongdoing or pretending you aren’t hurt; rather, it is about choosing to place the offender into God’s hands, trusting that all judgment and healing is of God’s. Forgiveness is not your weakness; it is your spiritual strength. Your “how to forgive someone” becomes easy as you are now courageous to let go of resentment and allow love to triumph over hate. In the story from the Bible (Genesis Chapter 37 — Chapter 50) Joseph’s brothers betrayed him and sold him into slavery, yet years later, when they came to Egypt in need, Joseph forgave them. He said, “Do not be distressed…for God sent me before you to preserve life” (Genesis 45:5). His choice to forgive shows how God can turn hurt into healing and calls us to extend grace to others. Also… We need to forgive, as forgiveness is a virtue that originated from God, as mentioned in the Old Testament and later in the New Testament, and ultimately from our Lord Jesus at the cross. In the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (Matthew 18:21-35), a king forgives a servant an unimaginable debt, in millions. That same servant then refuses to forgive a fellow servant a tiny debt of a few coins. Jesus ends the parable with a stark warning: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” God’s Healing Grace How to Forgive Someone Through God’s Healing Grace How to forgive someone becomes easy when you bring your raw hurts and honest emotions before God. Jesus has lived it all. He was falsely accused, insulted, and even ignored. All the hurtful resentments, He had faced them all first-hand. So Jesus can hear it all, as He has experienced it all. He will easily relate to your pain and suffering. Your wounds need to be treated, lest they become an infection for your soul. Un-forgiveness is a silent burden that corrodes the peace of your soul. It will manifest as anger, anxiety, or even a physical illness. Your anger is a poison that you drink and expect the other person to suffer. The longer the bitterness lives inside you, the more it replaces your own joy, peace, and spiritual vitality. Place them all before God, in your moments of prayer. Find your place of blissful presence with God. Tell Him exactly how you feel, your hurts, insults, and how to forgive someone. Present your offence before Him; your healing requires that you acknowledge your wounds of unforgiveness and resentment. Now you are bringing the darkness into the light of God’s presence; you take the first step towards your own healing. Talk to Jesus honestly. Scriptures remind us that true forgiveness flows not from our own strength, but from God’s healing grace working in our hearts. When we bring all our hurts and pain before Jesus, He softens what bitterness has tried to harden and thus destroy. A prayer of how to forgive someone begins with surrendering before God your desire for revenge or justification of the one who has hurt you. Ask the Holy Spirit to replace resentment with compassion, even if your emotions have not yet reached there. You pray, even if your mind speaks
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